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Character conspiracy theory "Krum attacked Crouch, no-wait for it, then stunned himself!"

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Old 13-01-2005, 08:04   #11
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Re: Time for some fun....

Winky - having got completely plastered on homemade Butterbeer, she ends up having dubious relationships with one of the security trolls and has a baby house troll which proceeds to run amok in Hogwarts

Tom from the Leaky Cauldron - gets a crush on Madam Pomfrey in the hope she has a magical cure for being a loser

Mrs Norris - goes to the wizarding vets and comes back as a poodle

Buckbeak - all his feathers fall out after eating a dodgy ferret

one of the Merpeople - Dumbledore gets fed up with them in the lake and pulls the plug on them

Colin Creevey - comes out of the closet and tells Harry he loves him
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Old 08-03-2005, 02:22   #12
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Re: Time for some fun....

OK ... how about some new ones to get our teeth into??!!

Howz about...

Seamus Finnigan
Arthur and Molly Weasley
Gilderoy Lockhart
Mad Eye Moody's multi purpose trunk
Blast Ended Skrewts

So I think that.....

Seamus Finnigan is caught smoking a dubious substance behind the broom shed (wizarding equivalent of the bike sheds...) which turns out to be the perfect remedy for repelling Voldemort!

Arthur and Molly Weasley start a drop in centre for homeless Muggles

Gilderoy Lockhart has his own hairdressing salon in Hogsmeade

Mad Eye Moody's multi purpose trunk used as a secret portal to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes in Diagon Alley!

Blast Ended Skrewts used in the Hogwarts kitchens as a natural form of heating... smack em on the nose and watch their nether regions blast out fire!!
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Old 24-04-2005, 21:02   #13
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Re: Time for some fun....

OK, I just gotta try this one...


Seamus Finnigan - After years of secretly loving Hermionie from afar, finds out from his mother that his true father is Hermionies father the dentist. In the rage of being denied he hearts desire he puts a curse on all muggle dentists for eternity, making them sterile. Muggles simply explain it as a reaction to long term exposure to novacain fumes.

Arthur and Molly Weasley - After Ginny graduates from Hogwarts, Molly and Arthur finaly open their "other" vault at gringots, withdrawing the likes of Gallions Lucious Malfoy would be jealous of. they torch the burrow and go on a 10 year tour of the muggle world, eventualy forgetting they are magical and setteling in Kansas as corn farmers.

Gilderoy Lockhart - Never regains his memory, but manages to escape St. Mungos, begins stalking the Osmond's believing that with smiles like that, they must be his long lost family.

Mad Eye Moody's multi purpose trunk - Voldemort is lured into an office in the MoM which is actualy a doorway into the trunk. The trunk is then permanantly locked with a pre programed timeturner inside, and Voldemort is forced to relive the killing of the Potters and his own "death" over, and over, and over...


Blast Ended Skrewts - A single surviving Skrewt grows unchecked till larger than an aircraft carrier. Muggle home movies of the mysterious creature quickly outgross even the most popular "Godzilla" movies.
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Old 25-04-2005, 13:31   #14
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Re: Time for some fun....

Seamus Finnigan - finds out infact he is Welsh
Arthur and Molly Weasley - In Porn shock horror - Sleazy Sunday fun released on Internet
Gilderoy Lockhart - Claims 'that was not my goat but Aberforth's' during goatgate case
Mad Eye Moody's multi purpose trunk - impounded by Portkey officials after a return from France - suspect items found within
Blast Ended Skrewts - Win best of class at Crufts Pet show - Hagrid is given lifetime achivement award in fine animal rearing
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Old 25-04-2005, 15:33   #15
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Re: Time for some fun....

I missed the first round so I want to include them too

Arabella Figg - Figgy turns out to be Voldemort's Squib auntie and the true heir to Slytherin ( wouldn't that tick him off )

Kreacher - Hermione decides that Kreacher no longer deserves the protection of S.P.E.W. so she lets Harry use him as a Muggle kickboxing target.

the Pensieve - Dumbledore shows Draco the memory of his Muggle grandfather who Draco has never met. Draco gets so upset that he's not pureblood he jinxes Snape by mistake and turns Crabbe and Goyle into matching ferrets

the Time-turner - Harry uses the time-turner to keep going back and reliving the night Cho cornered him in the Room of Requirements. Just a half a turn will do.

Mundungus Fletcher - Dung buys a dodgy batch of butterbeer that fell of the back of a broom and it actually turns out to be Veritaserum and after drinking a bottle he admits to everyone it was him who tried to steal the Sorcerer's Stone, let the troll in on Halloween, and left the seat up in Moaning Myrtles bathroom.

The silver hand - Wormtail was so impressed with his new hand he thought he'd polish it up a bit. As he rubbed it - it started glowing and getting hot so he thought he'd ........never mind

Crookshanks - Crookshanks missed Sirius in his dog form so badly that he made friends with Fluffy instead. It took a long time for Fluffy to cough up the hairball

Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes - Fred and George sat up a stand on the front lawn at Hogwarts and sold Dung Bombs and Stink Pellets at lunch time. They did such a good business that it wasn't unusual to see brightly colored plumes of smoke escaping windows all over the castle. So many students lit them off in the halls and Filch got so mad that he actually did magic! He accidently turned Mrs. Norris into a skunk, which was quite an improvement visually, and with the stink pellets and dung bombs everywhere, he couldn't tell the difference in the smell !

Winky - Winky got over her butterbeer addiction and turned to heroin instead.

Tom from the Leaky Cauldron - Tom got a new set of teeth for Christmas from Mrs. Leaky Cauldron. He found out that he could bite the caps off the beer bottles and it was much faster than using the opener. His new teeth worked so well he thought he'd try them on the corks in the kegs. One of the corks popped out with such force, it killed Tom. Later, Mrs. Leaky Cauldron was heard to say, "Ah, yes, all part of Dumbledore's plan - all part of the plan."

Mrs Norris - Mrs. Norris had a thing for Crookshanks, but he wanted nothing to do with her. She sauntered around in front of him with a lace garter wrapped around her tail, a little catnip behind her ears and he still wouldn't take notice. Finally, she jumped him when he was on his way to the Owlery and had her way with him, her red eyes gleaming. After it was over and they were enjoying a bit of catnip, she told him he really wasn't that good and if she had any little ones she would name them all Scabbers and tell them their father was a half-breed who preferred big black dogs.

Buckbeak - After Sirius died, Buckbeak got so lonley at Grimmauld Place that he invited all his brothers and sisters from Hagrid's for a sleep over. During the night Buckbeak heard an unusual noise coming from the kitchen. The next morning when he went downstairs he found his brothers and sisters sitting around the kitchen table and all that was left of Kreacher was a finger!

one of the Merepeople - One night Ron went into the prefects bathroom for a bit of a washup and found Moaning Myrtle sharing the tub with one of the meremen. When Ron showed his indignation about her rudeness, she said slyly, "Come on, I can handle a weasle and a carp at the same time.

To be continued
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Old 27-04-2005, 00:22   #16
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Re: Time for some fun....

Continued.....

Collin Creevey - "Harry, Harry, the dingo ate my baby!!"

Seamus Finnigan - Finds out he's second cousin to the loch ness monster.

Arthur and Molly Weasley - In reality, Molly is a princess, but abdicated her title because her father didn't like Arthur. One day her cousin shows up and tells her all the Weasley's have to move to her kingdom, and that Bill is next in line to be king, and they live in the lap of luxery - happily ever after.

Gilderoy Lockhart - never gets his memory back and another wizard comes along and steals all the adventures from Gilderoy that he stole from other wizards.

Mad Eye Moody's multi purpose trunk - used by the Weasley's as a vacation home during their next trip to Egypt.

Blast Ended Skrewts - Hagrid gives the last skrewt to Grawp as a pet. It keeps him warm in the winter, and makes BBQ's a snap.
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Old 28-04-2005, 19:17   #17
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Re: Time for some fun....

Arabella Figg: Turns out she is Filch's sister, both embarrasments to the darkest wizarding family so disowned, in turn, they went good and supported DD

Kreacher: Turns out he is Sirius' real father

the Pensieve: Holds false memories and DD uses it to brainwash Harry into believing things that never really happened (like Snape was the real bully)

the Time-turner: Ron asks Hermione out, but she says no, so he uses it to try again but breaks it. He then gets stuck in a Groundhog Day-like loop
Mundungus Fletcher: Is a spy for the Ministry in illegal trading and busts a huge black market cauldron ring

The silver hand: Has a name (Thing) and drops off one day to do its own stuff. It has a personal vendetta against Voldemort for sticking it to Wormtail

Crookshanks: Grows fond of Fang and they run off together

Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes: Will fail miserably. The boys will be sued for copyright breaches and will turn to the darkside, joining their brother Percy.
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Old 28-04-2005, 19:22   #18
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Re: Time for some fun....

Winky: Will get over it, have babies with Dobby and go to work for Harry when he leaves school, much to Hermione's disgust

Tom from the Leaky Cauldron: he'll continue doing what he does, but will employ some topless barmaids to help business pick up. Umbridge will be the first to apply, they'll fall in love and run the business together.

Mrs Norris: absent mindedly forgets about the trick stair and falls through it, never to be seen again.

Buckbeak: Lost and lonely without Sirius, escapes back to the forest to terrorise his family for not coming to find him.

one of the Merpeople: Eats the next kid to fall into the lake, confirming Harry's fears that merpeople eat humans.

Colin Creevey: becomes Harry's stalker. He has taken his love of Harry too far and craves attention. He starts sending Harry weird fanmail, and stealing things from the dormitory.
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Old 28-04-2005, 21:54   #19
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Re: Time for some fun....

Seamus Finnigan: Finds out he is half Egyptian and I track him down and marry him (sorry, I have a fetish for part Egyptian part Irish (or Scottish)...Or he becomes the new Bulgarian seeker, much to his mothers disgust, disowning him and adopting Krum whim she convinces to play for Ireland

Arthur and Molly Weasley: Have another baby - a girl - and she has thick, wiry hair and a strangely large appearance, almost as if she has giant in her... Arthur decides he hates muggles and all things not pure wizard and uses his vast collection of plugs to electrocute unsuspecting victims

Gilderoy Lockhart: Regains his memory, sees the error of his ways. Waits until Hermione is of age and proposes. She says no, then continues to write her best seller books on how she defeated a drunken Basilisk with only one hand.

Mad Eye Moody's multi purpose trunk: Moody gets bored at home and takes his trunk on tour as a special magic show, rivalling the likes of Copperfield

Blast Ended Skrewts: Hagrid discovers the purpose of skrewts - the stings cure idiocy - after Goyle gets stung and suddenly becomes the nicest, smartest student at Hogwarts. Unfortunately Hagrid over doses himself, and suddenly winds up paying child support for a daughter he can't even remember making...
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Old 21-10-2006, 14:12   #20
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Re: Time for some fun....

missed round one, so i'll start there, oh and lol for all the ones written thus far.

Arabella Figg: realises she really isnt a squib, she just never tried hard enough, and harry decides to live with her for the summer rather than the dursleys.

Kreacher: decides he really likes harry and helps him to defeat the dark lord!

the Pensieve: turns out to be nothing but an enchanted bowl of chicken noodle soup that dumbledore thought was a basin for storing memories in his senility

the Time-turner: harry steals one and uses it to go back in time to prevent Sirius from falling through the veil.

Mundungus Fletcher: learns of what lockhart had done to make money, and decides to follow suite, but a memory charm backfires and he is taken to St. Mungos believeing he is Lord Voldemort

The silver hand: turns out it was all in Wormtails head. (Voldy is so cruel....)

Crookshanks: turns out to be an animagus and is really DUmbledore in disguise!

Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes: turns out it was only in the Twins heads. they had really gone crazy when harry gave them the gold (it was more than they believed existed ) everyone was just playing along because fred and george become violent when told that it's all in their heads.

Winky: sees the error of being an alcoholic and starts going to AA meetings. once recovered she apologises for disgraceful actions and becomes the Malfoys house elf (but she is really a spy for the order )

Tom from the Leaky Cauldron: is caught in a rather embaressing position with the humped statue in hogwarts. when confronted by the press he states he has no regrets....

Mrs Norris: turns out to be Filch in disguise.

Buckbeak: upon hearing that a DE set Hagrids house on fire, it was the last straw (a DE had killed his beloved Sirius) he goes crazy and starts killing all DE culminating in killing Voldemort. (hippogriffs care nothing for profecies. )

one of the Merpeople: becomes the new DADA teacher.

Colin Creevey: when harry defeats Voldemort, he confesses his undieing love for harry, and upon findong out harry is truely in love with Ginny, he pulls a Merope and tricks him into drinking Love potion. they run off and unlike Merope, Harry is kept in this state for many years til Ginny finds out what really happened and she saves him. Colin becomes very depressed, and harry and ginny feel sorry for him, so they help him find someone else.
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