Five Ways to End Harry Potter

Sir Cadogan

Noble Heart, Steely Sinew
I just found this at the web site of the New York Times. It's a really hilarious collection of speculative endings for Book 7, some of them show quite an impressive amount of insight on the author's part, some are just plain funny, for example the one where Harry comes onto the David Letterman show (by Meg Cabot). Let me just quote a few lines:

DAVE Harry, it’s an honor to meet you. Ever since you saved the earth by battling this Voldemort guy —

HARRY Well, I don’t know about saving the earth....

DAVE Don’t be modest, now. Or haven’t the polar ice caps stopped melting since you offed this guy?

HARRY Well ... yeah, I guess that’s true.

DAVE Right. Not to mention, there’s been peace in the Middle East, an end to world hunger, and Paris Hilton hasn’t appeared on the cover of People again —

(Applause)​

;)
 

Ravenclaw

Time Turners
What about this theory that I posted a long time ago on how the series ends:

This ending would constitute a HORRIBLE joke on an entire society of HP fans and would be so insulting and heartbreaking: tell me how offended and angry you would be if the ending was like this...

I'll keep it short.

The HP story ends when after engaging in a final battle, after Snape has HELPED Harry (yes I believe that Snape will wind up being Voldemort's downfall, and not Harry, Snape will perhaps die for Harry after we learn that he took an unbreakable vow with Dumbledore to protect Harry when Dumbledore learned of Snapes Vow With Sissy Malfoy in HBP)

Harry faces Voldemort in the final battle and is hit for a second time with the Avarda Cadavre curse. But it's not a killing curse, it's in reality a defibrillator shock. It turns out in the end that Harry has been in a coma for several years after a car crash that killed both of his parents and while in a coma, he "lived" this dream life of being a wizard but all in his head. After an acute illness, Harry is defibrillated (shocked) back to life at the exact time that Voldemort hits him with the AC curse in his mind. Harry "WAKES UP" in a London Hospital room where we learn that he has been for several years since the car crash that killed his parents.

"Dumbledore" was his neurologist that kept hope that Harry would recover, but either died or retired a year ago. Harry wakes from a long coma and is sent to live with Vernon and Petunia (his only living relatives) who are sddled with the debt of Harry's long hospitalization and resentful. After waking, and going home, Harry searches in vain for signs of the world he knew in his head.

It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about an ending like this.
What do you all think?

It's WAY out there but how nasty of a joke would this ending be?
 

Sirius Potter Fan

Night Patroll
I think "nasty" just about covers it . . . I think I remember reading it before. As a joke it us funny, and wouldn't be surprised if others have composed fan-fics around the same theme. People can be cruel. You may want to add, that while he was in the coma a kindly elderly nurse by the name of McGonagal would take a few hours a day and read to him . . . you know, fantasy books about witches and wizards!:D

In reality . . . I think that JKR herself might be tied to a stake and burned for putting us through all these years and doing something like that to end the book!

I think, sadly as it is, that there will be some who will strongly object to whatever ending JKR has written. Many have their own opinions on how it should end, that they cannot accept the possibility of anything different, even if it is indeed Rowling who wrote it!
 

Jezzie_Dezzie

Time Turners
I rarely post anything anywhere, but I could not resist temptation on this one.

As far as the "ending" with Harry waking up from being in a coma after a car accident goes, it is completely unoriginal! Has anyone else read (or seen the TV show) "The Dead Zone" by Stephen King? That is exactly what happens to poor John Smith in those stories.

I guess if I were to write a fanfic, I would try my hardest not to rip off other storylines. But, on the other end, all stories can be compared to another in one way or another.

Ah well, I do feel better now that I shared my 2 cents worth!
 

Sirius Potter Fan

Night Patroll
Yes, I know of the Dead Zone . . . love it and watch it every week (Why oh Why kill Walt!!!!! and . . . has anyone hacked into Walts computer? I got the user name and password, but still can't get in?) but . . . SK wasn't the first to do the waking up from a coma thing . . . ever hear the old tale of Rip VanWinkle? And several other books and films have used similar themes. Some had been in a coma for months, others only days but had "dreamed" years worth. Twilight zone used it a few times also. So, no, it's not orriginal in the core idea of it, but many different takes on the same theme will come again and again.
 

kashlie

afraid of my own shadow
What about this theory that I posted a long time ago on how the series ends:

This ending would constitute a HORRIBLE joke on an entire society of HP fans and would be so insulting and heartbreaking: tell me how offended and angry you would be if the ending was like this...

I'll keep it short.

The HP story ends when after engaging in a final battle, after Snape has HELPED Harry (yes I believe that Snape will wind up being Voldemort's downfall, and not Harry, Snape will perhaps die for Harry after we learn that he took an unbreakable vow with Dumbledore to protect Harry when Dumbledore learned of Snapes Vow With Sissy Malfoy in HBP)

Harry faces Voldemort in the final battle and is hit for a second time with the Avarda Cadavre curse. But it's not a killing curse, it's in reality a defibrillator shock. It turns out in the end that Harry has been in a coma for several years after a car crash that killed both of his parents and while in a coma, he "lived" this dream life of being a wizard but all in his head. After an acute illness, Harry is defibrillated (shocked) back to life at the exact time that Voldemort hits him with the AC curse in his mind. Harry "WAKES UP" in a London Hospital room where we learn that he has been for several years since the car crash that killed his parents.

"Dumbledore" was his neurologist that kept hope that Harry would recover, but either died or retired a year ago. Harry wakes from a long coma and is sent to live with Vernon and Petunia (his only living relatives) who are sddled with the debt of Harry's long hospitalization and resentful. After waking, and going home, Harry searches in vain for signs of the world he knew in his head.

It makes me sick to my stomach to even think about an ending like this.
What do you all think?

It's WAY out there but how nasty of a joke would this ending be?


I LOVE that!

but...i will add to it....

Dumbledore isn't dead, and he really is a wizard, but the end battle was so horrific for harry, dumbledore sets it up as above....

but yes, a cruel joke!
 

happy_hannah

Time Turners
if that is the ending i will hate it soooo much. but really all those tiny baby details , the world is too complex to be a coma fantasy. if that were the ending i would see it more as harry incorporating this magical world into his normal one where he would still be in his cupboard, teased at that school in his horrible uniform. i still remember reading the first book and thinkking that was what the story would be about, stonewall high or whatever the name was of that school
 
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